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gta:san andreas — a sense of perspective

There's Sex In My Violence! / What's this lame soft-core porn doing in my ultraviolent Grand Theft Auto? I am outraged!
Suddenly that downloadable patch you installed last night kicks in and there’s, like, a lame and badly animated sex scene, right there, right between the graphic bloody part where you bazooka’d the police helicopter and the part where the gang-banger gets his lame ass beaten with a large handgun, and suddenly you’re like, what the hell? Who stuck this lame badly animated sex in here? Where’d my soul-numbing ultraviolent racism go? I am outraged.
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Shouldn’t someone be outraged over the fact that 17-year-old virgin geeks who play endless hours of ultraviolent video games might somehow be tainted to their very cores by two minutes of badly animated sex, despite how you are, as a typical American teen, so regularly co-opted, so viciously pummeled by crass product placement and violence on the news and wicked misinformation about everything from marijuana to abstinence to cafeteria food, well, it pretty much makes the tepid and completely unarousing sex on GTASA look like outtakes from Shrek III: Now We’re Just Whoring It? You’re darned right there should!

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  1. You arr kwestioning our gofernment, herr Jones?

    ReplyDelete

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