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ridley scott movies make me unreasonably hot

The upcoming Ridley Scott movie, Kingdom of Heaven, looks really enticing. Maybe it will be Braveheart without the fag-jokes. Maybe it will be Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves with believable accents and missing the out-of-place slapstick and Bryan Adams song. It looks epic, but seeing only the main promotional image of hair-a-flying Orlando Bloom, I thought it was promoting the Wolverine movie.

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“I came back for my own purposes,” said the Time Traveler, looking around my booklined study. “I chose you to talk to because it was . . . convenient. And I don’t want you to do a goddamned thing. There’s nothing you can do. But relax . . . we’re not going to be talking about personal things. Such as, say, the year, day, and hour of your death. I don’t even know that sort of trivial information, although I could look it up quickly enough. You can release that white-knuckled grip you have on the edge of your desk.” I tried to relax. “What do you want to talk about?” I said. “The Century War,” said the Time Traveler. I blinked and tried to remember some history. “You mean the Hundred Year War? Fifteenth Century? Fourteenth? Sometime around there. Between . . . France and England? Henry V? Kenneth Branagh? Or was it . . .” “I mean the Century War with Islam,” interrupted the Time Traveler. “Your future. Everyone’s.” He was no longer smiling. Without asking, or offering to pour me any, he