theonion comes through again

“My fellow citizens, at this hour, brave administration and congressional forces are in the early stages of an all-out attack on Social Security, with the ultimate goal of bringing down the oppressive legacy of the New Deal, and big government itself,” Bush said. “Through bold and decisive action, we will liberate our grandparents and our grandchildren from the threats of the system established by Franklin D. Roosevelt to provide retirement compensation for America’s workers.”
Bush Launches Preemptive Attack On Social Security