Skip to main content

a list

Some friends I have. Sheesh. My keyboard is beginning to have a cottage-cheese-like substance growing on it from the amount of milk and OJ I have nose-ejected onto it after reading something funny while drinking. Rather than offering to come clean the kybd, or sending me a new cheapie US-101, Weezie suggests that:

I move that we remove Bwana from the list if he can't keep expelling food from his face. In lieu of that, here's some great alternate responses to list humor:
1. The classic shit eating grin.
2. Hard nipples.
3. Knee slapper.
4. Accidental fart.
5. Bat your eyelashes.
6. Give a nearby coworker the thumbs up.
7. Shove your fist in your mouth.
8. Yell YAHTZEE!
9. Head butt the monitor.
10. Double take followed up with an "aw shucks" shoulder shrug.

Which had Chuji follow on its heels with:

11. Run for Governor of California
12. Give out the 'ol "HOO HAH!!!"
13. Do the Arsino Hall fist thing while screaming "Whoo Whoo Whoo!"
14. Fill your pants with poop
15. Grab the nearest Asian man and shout "NANI????" into his face
16. Fill your pants with someone else's poop
17. In your best Clayton voice say "Really, Benson...."
18. Get outta my dreams, and into my car.
19. Do the Icky Shuffle
20. Three Words: Sans Pants Dance

Gotta make some new friends, or inject these ones with SYMPATHY DNA! It's just cheese, or something like it.

YAHTZEE!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

dan simmons’ fiction

“I came back for my own purposes,” said the Time Traveler, looking around my booklined study. “I chose you to talk to because it was . . . convenient. And I don’t want you to do a goddamned thing. There’s nothing you can do. But relax . . . we’re not going to be talking about personal things. Such as, say, the year, day, and hour of your death. I don’t even know that sort of trivial information, although I could look it up quickly enough. You can release that white-knuckled grip you have on the edge of your desk.” I tried to relax. “What do you want to talk about?” I said. “The Century War,” said the Time Traveler. I blinked and tried to remember some history. “You mean the Hundred Year War? Fifteenth Century? Fourteenth? Sometime around there. Between . . . France and England? Henry V? Kenneth Branagh? Or was it . . .” “I mean the Century War with Islam,” interrupted the Time Traveler. “Your future. Everyone’s.” He was no longer smiling. Without asking, or offering to pour me any, he ...

se7en of nin9

You could tell William Shatner that you hadn’t lived until you’d seen his one-man production of Se7en . He”d probably tell you to “get a life.” ( Chad Underkoffler )

yakuzploitation?

NERSFW horrifyingly non-PC female yakuza exploitation flick trailer that features more questionable content than you can shake a broken bottle at. However, if this is your thing, there is a guide to this whole “pinky violence” subgenre available to you. On a side note, if you ever get tired of watching Shintaro Katsu being such a cool good guy in Zatoichi films, check out a couple of Kamisori Hanzo (The Razor) movies to increase your sense of moral dischord. (inspired originally by this boingboing article)